The Elusive "Me" Time for Moms

"Me" time for Moms. You must be drawing a blank if you're a mom like me.

Close your eyes.

Take a deep breath.

What does "me" time for moms really mean? Does it differ for the working mom, the single mom, the stay-at-home mom, or even the student mom?

Perhaps, it does.

Not for me, though. "Me" time tends to get pushed aside regardless of my "mom status". It's just tough to have guilt-free ones, you know? It doesn't matter if you hired a babysitter, a friend or family member offered to watch your little ones, or that your dear husband gallantly treated you to a day at the spa. Bottom line is, I find it hard to get my mind off of my children--most especially when they're infants! Even more so, when they're breastfed infants!

Today, however, I was blessed with some guilt-free me time!

Typically, these are unplanned, stolen moments that only occur when the baby falls into a very deep sleep (thanks to his immunizations yesterday and that dosage of baby Tylenol) and mommy gets to reward herself with a purple Raspberry Pomegranate Starbucks Refresher drink so that she can stay up until 5:00AM just to be able to read a good book (I finished reading the one about plumerias that I just bought this weekend), take a shower, and give herself a nice glittery-purple pedicure (inspired by the color of the Starbucks refresher).

Yes, it has come down to this.

I hear roosters a-crowing and sense dew drops a-misting!

Nonetheless, I am grateful for the simple things.

As I read up on the student forums for prospective and current medical students like pinoy.md, valuemd.com, studentdoctor.net, etc., I often read about concerns regarding being able to have a social life while in medical school.

While I haven't experienced being a medical student yet, I have experienced being a graduate student while working full-time and being a mom. Also, right in the middle of graduate school, I had experienced the toughest time in my first marriage and had filed for a divorce towards the end of the program.

My observation is this: it does not matter whether you're a working mom, a single mom, a student mom, or a stay-at-home mom (or even a divorcing mom). Once you become a mom, your so-called social life will undergo a rapid, radical change. You will be socializing with your baby (whose form of communication is something that you just can't simply install into your operating system) all day and by the time adult help does arrive (which sometimes seems like forever), you'd either be too tired to interact or too busy trying to catch up on all of the other responsibilities that are screaming at you. Most times, it's neither of the two. Usually, it's because the baby only wants you!

It almost always comes down to zero sleep.

And lots of it in a row.

...It's either because the baby has been keeping you up all day, all night; or, you're trying to catch up on many other things. Or, in my case tonight, I'm just trying to give myself some much-needed me time.

The wee hours: it's the only time when things are quiet and still (that is, if the baby is sleeping).

Thankfully, the older kids are sound asleep as well (with no major illnesses). This includes my husband.

Then again, I need to take my middle child to the dentist tomorrow. He just had a toothache and I had to give him some Children's Advil.

Oh, and I'm scheduled to go to the bank as soon as it opens tomorrow so that we can obtain a bank statement for our Affidavit of Support to attend medical school in the Philippines. We plan to have our remaining application documents notarized there, then we will proceed to the State of Hawaii's Lieutenant Governor's Office to obtain an apostille, followed by a visit to the Philippine Consulate General Honolulu to get the documents authenticated. Hopefully, these offices would agree to do all of these on the same day (it normally takes a week for the Lieutenant Governor's Office, for example) so that we can meet the FedEx cut-off of 2:30PM.

Yes, it's going to be yet another busy day, and it's already 5:34AM. It is tomorrow.

Such is the life of a mom.

I'm not complaining. Just sharing what reality is for moms like me.

My husband and I would sometimes joke that medical school might just be easier. We are used to working up to three jobs at a time (two of which are full-time and the other, part-time) while maintaining a household with children. It's like being on-call 24x7.

We slowly cut back on our working hours, we got rid of some of the extra jobs, we downsized our spending, yet we remain "overworked" (according to others' standards). Weekends are for chores, church, running errands, and occasionally, for family trips (which involve a lot of logistics planning as well as physical labor). It also requires a lot of coordination. Oh, and it does help to remember things. A lot of things.

Yeah, medical school just might be easier.

I'm sure it is going to be difficult--but in a different way. We shall see.

Now, it's time for some shut-eye (a power nap, if you will).

Me time is finally over. I accidentally ruined the pedicure on one of my toenails; thankfully, this one can wait until the morning.

The baby just woke up. Great.

It's all good. God's grace is always sufficient.